Seen and Heard

Kiera: Mom, do you know how bees die, it's when humans clap their hands together like that (shows me hand clap)
Mom: Oh, yes . . .
Kiera: you know how bees cry? Like this: buh-zz-zz-zz, buh-zz-zz-zz
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Kiera: Mom, Grammy says she has lots of earthplakes! (Grammy denies having said this)
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Kai: Cool! Cambria qualifies for reduced lunch! I wonder if teachers can qualify too!
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Kiera: Mom, why do you call dad honey?
Mom: Because he's my honey.
Kiera: Because he's like a food? I guess some food wear shirts
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Kiera: Oh, what's that stinky smell?
Cambria: It's not me! . . . Okay, it is me.
Kiera: Cambria, you're a stinky girl!
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Cambria: Mom, Today we had a dissembly! (assembly)
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Kiera: (after having watched a shoe go down the storm drain while playing in the water the rains left) Mom! Call the police! Now we really have an emergency!
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Cambria: I just want money because Dad always wants money!
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Cambria: Tomorrow should we write a story about Dad and Bubba? It could be called 'The wise man and his dad.'
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Kiera: You are the best mommy in the world, except when you are mad, then you are not the best mommy in the world.
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Cambria: (she thought her new friend had moved) Mom, I think Cassidy moved to her new lair.
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Kiera: Mom, I'm pretty sure I want my hair to be green.
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While I was rocking Bubba to sleep:
Kiera: Mom, I have a booger.
Mom: Go get a Kleenex.
Kiera: Ok, but I can't I have boogers all on me.
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Cambria: Mom, someone is on the manswering sheen!
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Mom: This sticker is old.
Kiera: (sweetly) Well, Gigi is old so you need to give her old things.
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Cambria: Maybe we can make a sale of all our old clothes and everyone can come buy them.
Kiera: Tutu (Kai's grandma) is old.We should give her all our old clothes.
Cambria: What?
Mom: Repeats Kiera
Cambria: Oh, my clothes are way too small for Tutu!
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We were so close to getting a puppy and changed our minds
Cambria: Said sadly as we were walking into Target "Thanks to you and Dad, I don't have a dog."
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Cambria: Remember when we had dinner at Gigi's and Candi's?
Mom: Yes.
Cambria: And we got to drink out of glass cups? (something I don't allow)
Mom: Yes.
Cambria: That was SO cool!
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Cambria: How do you get so old?
Mom: Birthdays. You know, every time you have a birthday, you get older.
Cambria: Oh, Maybe you can get older on your next birthday.
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Cambria: I kind of love that little boy we met at the park. He gave me flowers. It was kind of romantic.
Kiera: Yeah, he gave me rocks. I love rocks!
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Cambria: What if we were fish and the fisherman's hook caught us right here (points to her tongue)
Mom: Then I guess they would fry us up and eat us!
Kiera: Guys, that can't even happen because we are human!
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Cambria: Maybe Bubba doesn't know where he is.
Kiera: (pats him gently on the head) Here you are Bubba (points with her finger) you are right here.
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Kiera near tears because she accidentally popped her big sisters balloon. Cambria hugged her and said "That's okay, you are still my sister even though you popped my balloon."
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Cambria: I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Mom: What do you mean?
Cambria: You know, hurt your feelings, crush your spirits, dash your hopes, you know hurt your feelings.
Mom: Oh, you didn't hurt my feelings.
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Mom: Kiera, close your eyes and go to sleep!
Kiera: I am but my eyes are playing hop scotch!
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Kiera: Mom, can you please butter my toothbrush (put toothpaste on)
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Cambria: (drinking a 7up- she hates soda) Mom! Hurry I need water, this drink has fire in it!
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This is the winner:
I will withhold the name to save embarrassment:
Taking daughter to the bathroom last night at Cafe Rio- see her dirty undies:
Mom: Oh, that is so gross!
Daughter: What?
Mom: Your panties!
Daughter: I did not put chocolate down there!
Mom: That is not chocolate!
Daughter: what is it?
Mom: It's poop!
Daughter: No.It. Is. Not! (offended)