Will You Help Me?
Will you Please leave a comment or email me (amykaidavis12@yahoo.com)
I know there are many of you who look but never comment.
Can you break your rule today?
For this?
Please, I'm begging:)
Our Relief Society has been invited to earn our Yong Women's Medallion for a second time. It has been fun to do Personal Progress all over again! For one of my projects I am trying to gather information on Mother hood for a two-fold purpose. (Maybe someday, I can even Write a book to help other mothers in our same situation)
Purpose one: How Do you Find Value and Joy in Motherhood on a Day to Day Basis
Purpose two: How On Earth Do you Raise a Good Kid in Today's Society.
Your answer can be as brief or as long as you want.
I am wondering if you can write to me about the most pressing challenges you face as a mother. Being a mom and raising children today is tough.
I would love to hear your stories of struggle and triumph.
All of us mother's are in the boat of child rearing together and I think we can draw strength from one another.
I have included some idea starters, but really I want to know two things, How do you personally find value and joy in Motherhood and how do you help your children with what ever day to day struggles they face. So you are not limited to these topics. You can answer one or several. You can write one sentence about something that you struggle with. I will not use your name in any info that I "publish" I would like to use your age and where you are from though.
Here are my Topic Starters:
Teaching your child the value of Honesty
Teaching about the Value of Prayer
How to make your picky eater get the nutrition he needs
Teaching your child to have self worth in a society who doesn't necessarily value righteous things,
Balancing work and children,
Feeling inadequate as a mother
Will I ever sleep through the night again?
Teaching your child to have self worth in a society who doesn't necessarily value righteous things,
Balancing work and children,
Feeling inadequate as a mother
Will I ever sleep through the night again?
How do I still be me when I am in the full throttle of Motherhood.
OR
How do I survive while my husband is not home often?
How do I teach my child to have self worth?
How can I teach my daughter to value inner beauty as much as outer beauty in today's world?
How can I raise a son who has a sense of honor and values his priesthood.
How do you survive the terrible two's
How can I feel worthy as a mother when I feel like there are so many mother's doing a better job than me?
OR
How do I survive while my husband is not home often?
How do I teach my child to have self worth?
How can I teach my daughter to value inner beauty as much as outer beauty in today's world?
How can I raise a son who has a sense of honor and values his priesthood.
How do you survive the terrible two's
How can I feel worthy as a mother when I feel like there are so many mother's doing a better job than me?
Please, please, please . . . Young and Old, blog stalker and known, will you please share with me???? (remember the puppy dog eyes)
4 comments:
So - I have a confession: As a mom, I didn't really enjoy the infant stage. I can't even really put my finger on exactly why that was the case, and it made me feel really guilty for a long time. Come to find out though - I LOVE two-three year olds. That stage was hands down one of my favorites. This also made me feel a little guilty...I felt bad that so many of my friends and family weren't enjoying their toddlers. I tried to notice if maybe it was because of my boys' personalities, or something I was doing, or a combination of both. I think it would be rash to say that it was 100% the result of just one factor. Case in point: My boys, like a lot of siblings, have very different personalities - and I had to adjust to that fact very early on. The one thing that DID seem to help the most was to be very consistent ... maybe even very, VERY consistent:)
That's a very abstract idea - so I thought it might be helpful to give an example of what I think this idea entails:
*I always had a daily routine - meals, activities and naps were a structure we built our lives around. It wasn't always easy or fun...we had to say no to many a playdate and exciting outing. But, it seemed to preserve our sanity. It helped prevent many melt-downs. It was my invisible back-up. When the boys asked if they could have a snack or lunch or play a game or watch a show or, or or ... I could always answer confidently to the affirmative or negative. If we could do what they asked, or it was short coming...they were fine. If it wasn't the time - I didn't have to give them an empty "no". I could just say that it wasn't the right time or day ... and to my amazement, they were fine then too! Our schedule was consistent, and they had learned that they could trust it...and me:) Because of this trust, I was able to say no to things sometimes, and it wasn't the end of the world. I could even tell my two year old that we couldn't get candy at the check-out stand...and there was NO temper tantrum:)
I hope that helps! Good luck with your project!!
Amy, thinking about it, but you might want to fix one typo. I'm sure you meant to say "Same situation" no Dame situation" though sometime it can feel that way. lol had to laugh when I read that part.
SO many questions and so many thoughts!! I will put some together and email you! :)
I am definitely NOT the perfect parent that did everything right but here goes:
Honesty was one of my biggest MUSTS. I made sure that the kids knew that telling the truth was far less painful then lying was. If they just told the truth, we'd talk about the consequences of their actions. I'm a firm believer that the world has too many liars and we need more integrity.
Working things out. I told them that Heavenly Father sent them to our family for a reason even though they seem to have nothing in common. Many times during arguments I would be promoted to let them know that each one was given different gifts and attributes that would help the OTHER family members. We just needed to understand and learn what we were sent here to learn, from each other.
An example of this is my older girls. They went through a time when they really didn't like each other because all they could see were their differences. It wasn't until they could see how those differences could benefit each other, that they learned to love those very differences.
One is naturally out going, talkative, socially strong and the other is naturally academically strong, with a quiet self assurance, and self motivated with not much encouragement needed. When you combine those two personalities, you've got a lot of power. When they understood how they could each "use" or "borrow" the things they learned from each other, there was no stopping them. They are still very different but they compliment each other and they are still learning from each other. And I have learned many things from them as well as the other kids.
Don't be their buddy. I never tried to fit in with their friends, wear the latest fashion for teens, get roped into the "I've got to look a certain way, be a certain weight" crap. I think that one of the most destructive things you could to a child (especially the girls) is to compete with them. Unfortunately, I've seem a lot of this happening. Your kids have enough competition in this world, they don't need it from a parent too.
Now, that said, I tried to not embarrass them either. I never went around town looking like a hobo either. Haha!
Do the right things, even when you don't feel like it. This came into play the older they got. When there was a church function that they really didn't feel like attending, I told them that they needed to go, if for no other reason, to support those who put time and effort into planning and putting it together. Usually they ended up benefiting from it but I always wanted them to be supportive of those who were in charge, because someday, it would be their turn to be in charge. We tried to raise leaders...not followers.
The world doesn't revolve around them (or me). I never wanted the kids to think that they were the biggest and best thing around. This may sound a bit harsh but if you raise kids thinking that the world should revolve around them, then they don't look outside of themselves to see what else is going on out there.
If they assume that they are the only ones with problems, heartaches, anxieties, worries, trials etc, then they won't ever get past those things when they should, or more importantly, help those who need them. Of course, there are moments in time when it should be about them and we celebrate those times.
Help them to "draw the line in the sand". Talk a lot. We placed our priorities like this: Family, church, other.
If there is a question (and there are ALWAYS questions) talk about where that particular activity fits into the priorities. This requires being "on your toes" all of the time because inevitably there will be different scenarios and deals brokered. Teenagers are pros at coming up with those.
Also, allow them to use you as the "bad guy". Sometimes they are looking for a way out of an activity but they just can't say no to their friends, so be okay with being the bad guy sometimes.
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