Kai is in the bishopric and felt "inspired to ask me to give a talk . . . I wasn't thrilled at first but fell in love with this article by President Uchtdorf.
Dear Brothers and Sisters, My name
is Amy Davis. As a member of the congregation I have often heard stories told
from the pulpit about how fellow members were “asked” to speak. Some would be
speakers were able to play cloak and dagger with Brother Davis in some way to
avoid the task. Others were ambushed at the door step to their homes, when a
smiling Brother Davis happily greeted them with a request and a topic upon
opening the front door. Others were alerted when their phone rang and caller ID
proudly proclaimed the Davis name quickly warning of the possibility of a
Sunday talk or a ward calling. But
Brothers and sisters, I must say, I
had the worst ambush of all. Last Sunday, when I came home, Brother Davis was
already inside my house sitting at my kitchen table. I had no where to run and
worse no warning of the impending danger. Brother Davis simply said, “Amy, I
feel inspired to ask you to speak next Sunday.” I chuckled at first until I realized that he was serious. I told
him that he better be careful in the way he used the word, “inspired” around
the house and that it surely wouldn’t work for every task he wanted me to do.
So here I am to give you a message.
I will draw upon a talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in the last
general conference entitled,
“Of Regrets and Resolutions”
If today were the last day that you
spent on this earth, with whom and how would you want to spend it? (Pause for thought)
As, President Uchtdorf says, “We
are all mortal. I hope this does not come as a surprise to anyone.”
Looking back on our lives, no
matter how long or short they may be in comparison to one another, I am sure we
would all find precious memories tucked away in the quiet recess of our minds.
Reliving these memories would be like warpping ourselves in a ray of sunshine
on a cold winter’s day. They would put a smile on our face without even
realizing it. The first time you scored a winning goal, how it felt to have
your father brush his warm hand against your forehead. The first time you held
hands with the boy you liked. The look on your spouses face the day you were
married, holding your sweet child in your arms for the first time, the joy of
having your family encircled round about you engaged in some sort of activity.
These are the kind of memories, that make one feel warm and happy from the
inside.
Sadly, along with these memories
might also come regrets. We might regret things that we wish we could undo, we
might regret things that we knew we should have done but failed to do.
President Uchtdorf sites a nurse
who cares for terminally ill patients. He said “ she would often ask a simple
question of her patients as they prepared to depart this life. “Do you have any
regrets?”
Being so close to that final day of
mortality often gives clarity to thought and provides insight and perspective.
These patients would often open their mouths and speak freely about what they
would change if only they could turn back the clock.”
The three most common regrets were
as followed:
- I wish I had spent more time with my family.
- I wish I had lived up to my potential.
- I wish I had let myself be happier
As President Uchtdorf considered
what these patients had said, “it struck him how the foundational principles of
the gospel of Jesus Christ can affect our life’s direction for good, if only we
apply the principles.”
The more we devote ourselves to the
teachings of Jesus Christ, the less likely we will walk on a path that leads to
regrets.
It is a good time of year to
consider how we might be better disciples of Christ. President Uchtdorf listed
the antidote to the three regrets mentioned by the terminal patients. To make
sure we can live a life filled with little regret, let us resolve to do better
in these three areas:
- Let us resolve to spend more time with the ones we
love.
- Let us strive more earnestly to become the person
God wants us to be.
- Let us resolve to find happiness, regardless of
our circumstance.
Allow me to examine with you, both
the regret and the antidote.
Regret number one:
“I wish I had spent more time with the people we
love”
Quote number 1 p. 22
"Perhaps the most universal regret dying patients expressed was that they wished they had spent more time with the people they love. Men in particular sang this universal lament: the "deeply regretted spendin so much of their lives on the {daily} treadmill of . . .work." Many had lost out on choice memories that come from spending time with family and friends. They missed developing a deep connection with those who meant the most to them."
1. Antidote: Spend more time with the people you love.
Some of us spread ourselves so
thin. We commit to so many worth while causes that we hardly have the time to
breath. President Uchtdorf warns against wearing our busyness as a badge of
honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or a sign of
superior life.
Christ lived each day full of purpose. Those Christ interacted
with felt important and loved. Christ knew the infinite value of the people he
met. He blessed them, he ministered to them he lifted them up, healed them. He
gave them the precious gift of his time. Do not over commit. Take time to slow
down. Spend less time in front of the computer or TV and more time talking,
playing and laughing.
My Dad passed away when I was nine
years old. I remember wondering, at that young age, if he knew that I loved
him. I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually said those three little
words to him. That seems a heavy thought for a nine year old.
My dad was not a perfect man, but I
do have wonderful memories of him. My dad climbed trees with me. He told me
stories at bedtime. As he would play the piano in my grandma’s living room, I
would dance to the music. We would have tickle fights. After I brushed my teeth
he would ask me to smile and as I did so, he would cover his eyes and pretend
that my teeth were so bright and sparkly, that he had to shield his eyes. It
was these little moments that created cherished memories. Do not mistakenly
think that the only important family or friend time must only exist on a grand
scale. Everyday quiet moments, can be just as wonderful.
Love is a verb and requires our
action. Say, “I love you” more often. Be free with your praise. Compliment more
often. Create moments for lasting memories. Love like there is no
tomorrow. The most profitable
investment you can make is in each other. We must realize the infinite value of
those around us.
Regret Number Two: I wish I
had lived up to my potential.
Quote #2 on
page 22
"Another
regret people expressed was that they failed to become the person they
felt they could and should have been. When they looked back on their
lives, they realized that they never lived up to their potential, that
too many songs remained unsung.
I
am not speaking here of climbing the ladder of success in our various
professions. That ladder, no matter how lofty it may appear on this
earth, barely amounts to a single step in the great eternal journey
awaiting us.
Rather, I am speaking of becoming the person God, our Heavenly Father, intended us to be.
Our Heavenly Father sees our real potential. He knows things about us
that we do not know ourselves. He prompts us during our lifetime to
fulfill the measure of our creation, to live a good life, and to return
to His presence."
2. Antidote: Live up to your
potential by making good choices. God has a plan for your life.
As quoted from one of my favorite
songs,
“He put a light in side you
To remind you
You’re part of his plan
And you may not see
What he’s shaping you to be
By the power of his hands
He has written beautiful things in
your life
You are a masterpiece in his eyes
You have his love to guide you
You carry a purpose divine
He draws you near
And the music that you hear
Whispers of your heavenly design
He has blessed you and given you so
many gifts
You’re an instrument for Him
Ther is a song inside you
He wrote a melody
Only you can play
He’s leading you by faith
to find your voice
So sing it strong
He’s seen it all along
It’s your song.” End quote
As long as you are a live and
breathing, it is never too late to
become who Heavenly Father knows you can become. Doing it sooner rather than
later can help you avoid regret.
Think of Charles Dickens’ famous
story, A Christmas Carol. Old Ebenezer Scrooge spends his life being selfish
and grouchy to say the least. He completely turns his back on his fellow man in
his pursuit of wealth. When it is almost too late for Scrooge’s soul to be
saved from being doomed for all eternity. Scrooge is visited by three spirits
who are able to convince him to shred the shackles of his greed and instead, embrace his fellow man. At which
point, Scrooge decides to be the man who he was meant to be and begins to bless
the lives around him and right as many wrongs as he can.
Another story, entitled Jacob T.
Marley, tells of Scrooges partner, the very same partner that was the first
apparition to appear to Ebenezer. Marley tries to warn Scrooge about the
horrors that await him in the after life.
If Scrooge will not turn from his dangerous path of greed, then he would
be doomed to suffer the same horrible fate that Marley was consigned. After
Marley’s visit, three more spirits came
to see Scrooge. Well, according to this book, unbeknownst to Scrooge, Marley
was present with Scrooge and the spirits as they visited the various stages of
Scrooges life.
Upon seeing Tiny Tim, and learning
that his fate rested in the hands of Scrooge and Scrooge’s alone. Marley
protested and told the spirit of Christmas Present that it was not fair that
Tiny Tim should be condemned because of the lack of heart from Scrooge. There
simply could be no justice in that.
To which the spirit replied, to
paraphrase, “Jacob, the actions of every man matter. Spirits cannot remove
every obstacle from the path of life because then man would do nothing for each
other. The choice to do for others is a gift, and you must use it for good or
for ill.
Brothers and sisters we are on this
earth to do good. To care for each other like our Heavenly Father and Jesus
Christ care about us.
President Uchtdorf says,
“Declaring our testimony of the
gospel of Jesus Christ is good, but being a living example of the restored
gospel is better. Wishing to be more
faithful to our covenants is good, actually being faithful to our covenants-
including living a virtuous life, Paying our tithes and offerings, keeping the
w of w, and serving those in need is much better. Announcing that we will
dedicate more time for family Prayer, scripture study and family activities is good,
but actually doing these things will bring heavenly blessings to our lives.
Discipleship is the purist of
holiness and happiness. It is the path to our best and happiest self.”
3.Regret number 3: I wish I had
let myself be happier
Quote number
three on p. 23
"Another regret of those who knew they were dying may be somewhat surprising. They wished they had let themselves be happier.
So
often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just
beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family
situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging
trial.
The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness.
We do matter. We determine our happiness.
You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness."
Antidote: resolve to be happy, no
matter your circumstance. There is always something to be thankful for. There
is always something to be happy about.
As they say, even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.
Last year, my youngest daughter all
but severed her baby toe at the first knuckle. She had been in the garage with
me and I turned my back, literally for a second when I heard our steal luggage
car-rack slam to the ground with an ominous thud. My baby who was barely one at
the time made no noise at first, due to shock, but without seeing exactly where
the luggage rack landed, I knew something was going to be cut off. I lifted the
rack off her foot without looking, unable to bear the sight of the wound at
first, and yelled to Kai. We grabbed some ice for her toe and drove to the ER
as quickly as we could. By this point Raia was screaming and writhing in pain.
I don’t recall why, but at some
point I was left alone with Raia in triage. I am sure that Kai was making
arrangements for our other children and the nurses and doctors were elsewhere.
I was overwhelmed with sorrow.
Watching your child suffer is awful. I felt like at any moment her toe would
fall all the way off as she twisted and turned in my arms, rejecting the ice I
was trying so desperately to hold to the wound. I felt Raia’s pain stab through
my heart compounded by the knowledge that this accident happened on my watch. I
felt I should have protected her better and I was about to despair when I began
to pray.
“Heavenly Father” I pleaded “This
is too much. I can’t do this. I feel so bad. My poor baby is injured and I am
weighted with pain. Help me. Help her. Please let her be ok. Please help me be
strong for her. Please strengthen me and hold me up now so that I don’t fall
apart.”
Thoughts began to poor through my
mind.
At least luggae rack didn’t fall
upon both of her feet. At least it wasn’t the whole foot that was severed. At
least all the other toes were spared. At least it was only one little toe. She
will still, live, she will still walk. Her only consequence may be that she
will refuse to wear open toed shoes.”
This train of thought calmed me and
I knew it was from my Heavenly Father, given to me in words that I could
understand. It was true that we were in a bad situation and yet we still had so
much to be thankful for.
Dr. Johnson was actually able to
reattach the toe and the wound is almost invisible.
Heavenly Father helped me to adjust
my attitude. He gave me strength and calmed my troubled heart. It is us who
determine our happiness as we rely on the Lord.
Let us strive to become better
Disciples of Christ. Let us love those whom God has entrusted to our care. Let
us strive to reach our full potential through righteous living, and let us make
up our minds to be happy. For that is the path that leads to happiness and away
from regret.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
l
